Is it abuse or ministry?

Good News ReflectionMonday of the 11th Week in Ordinary TimeJune 15, 2009
Today's Readings:2 Cor 6:1-10Ps 98:1-4Matt 5:38-42http://www.usccb.org/nab/readings/061509.shtmlAudio: http://ccc.usccb.org/cccradio/NABPodcasts/09_06_15.mp3
Is it abuse or ministry?
Today's Gospel passage could be a description of a victim. Or it could be a description of a ministry. If we don't turn the unfair requests or injustices and abuses of others into ministry, we allow ourselves to remain victims.
Abusers say, in effect: "You have to turn your cheek and let me hit you again! You're not supposed to retaliate or defend yourself." A victim is someone who says, in effect: "It's wrong for me to resist being treated this way. It's wrong for me to get away from it. It's wrong for me to call in the authorities against this person. I must offer up my sufferings to Jesus, that's all."
The decision to remain in victim mode is very self-serving. It's self-serving to allow others to take advantage of us. Let me explain why. To deal with the problem and help abusers become accountable for their actions serves them by giving them the opportunity to change. And it serves other potential victims.
If we're using unhealthy relationships to gain self-esteem as the caretaker or enabler of an addict, or if we're clinging to what's familiar so that we won't have to do the hard work of learning new patterns, or if we're using the hardships to get attention and sympathy as a martyr, we are a victim, not a minister of God's healing love.
Christ's Sermon on the Mount (Matthew 5, 6, and 7) is a teaching on how to live a life of MINISTRY, not victimhood. Today's first reading is an example of how the Gospel is supposed to be applied. When we suffer because we choose to turn an injustice into a ministry, for the sake of "enriching many", we are "sorrowful yet always rejoicing."
Amazing things happen when we live this way. Take, for example, the time a neighbor verbally attacked me, repeatedly, because he mistakenly believed that my dog was spilling his garbage onto the street. He threatened to have an Animal Control Officer take my pet away. How did Jesus want me to give him my other cheek without being a victim?
First, without anger, I tried to explain that raccoons were the culprit, but when he refused to believe me, I looked for a way to go the extra mile. I cleaned up his ikky garbage and put it into one of my trash cans that had a good, snap-on lid, with a bow on top and a message to explain that it was a gift. After that, peace reigned between us, even when he left his trash unlidded and it was again ravaged by midnight invaders.
By maintaining healthy and reasonable boundaries against abuse, then and only then are we free to turn it into a ministry in which we choose to make sacrifices and turn the other cheek. Only when our life is guided by love — for ourselves and equally for our abusers and for other potential victims — can Christ reach out to others through us with his sacrificial love, and it is only then that the pain of our sufferings have redemptive value.
And oh! How wonderful it is to contribute to someone's redemption!
For help with this, try my e-book of Good News Reflections entitled "The Path to Healing in Difficult Relationships", published by Catholic Digital Resources. Please visit http://catholicdr.com/ebooks/relationships.htm.
© 2009 by Terry A. ModicaFor PERMISSION to copy any of my reflections, go to:http://gogoodnews.net/DailyReflections/copyrights-DR.htm
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