The value of celibacy

Good News Reflection
Friday of the Nineteenth Week of Ordinary Time
August 13, 2010

Today's Readings:
Ezekiel 16:1-15,60,63 or Ezekiel 16:59-63
Isaiah 12:(1c)2-6
Matt 19:3-12
http://www.usccb.org/nab/081310.shtml
USCCB Podcast of the Readings:
http://ccc.usccb.org/cccradio/NABPodcasts/10_08_13.mp3

The value of celibacy

Celibacy is meant to be a gift, a great joy. Jesus confirms this in today's Gospel reading when he speaks of those who renounce marriage for the sake of the Kingdom of God.

As someone who's been married since 1975, I certainly know the joys of a physical union. But this is not what gives me the greatest pleasure in my relationship with my spouse. Despite all the media hype and social emphasis on the supposed "necessity" of having sensual pleasures to prove love and to feel loved, it's not needed for a close relationship.

This truth is misunderstood by couples who think it's best to live together before the wedding. It's unknown to young men who have said no to the priesthood because they don't want to be celibate and to women who have said no to religious life for the same reason. It's been hidden from singles who believe they must find a bed partner or else they're missing something important. It's not been grasped by couples use artificial birth control because they don't want to abstain for a couple of days during fertility.

Jesus acknowledges our natural, hormonal drives by saying: "Not everyone can accept this teaching." At the same time, he makes it clear that those who don't have physical relations are just as normal as those who do. Is it surprising that a quadriplegic can be happily married and that the spouse would find their spiritual and emotional union profoundly satisfying? Or that a priest would find complete fulfillment in a spiritual union with his bride, the Church?

With compassion, we who are married should support and encourage those who live celibately. This means including singles in our family events. It means being conscious of what we wear, dressing modestly instead of looking like a temptation. It means taking a stand against entertainment that promotes marital physical pleasures without the marriage.

Since God gave us the gift of desiring physical intimacy, what's the value of celibacy? Jesus implies that it's better than being married. We know from the first part of this reading that he's not against marriage. But why would he agree with his disciples when they said, "If that is the case between husband and wife, it is better not to marry"?

Note the beautiful description of God's "wedding" (making the covenant with Israel) in today's first reading. We become his bride when we commit ourselves to loving him faithfully. Those who are single and celibate don't have to divide their time and energies between God and an earthly spouse; they can experience God's love and devotion full-time.

God is the greatest Lover in the universe!

© 2010 by Terry A. Modica
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