Betrayed by a friend – Part 1

Good News Reflection
Tuesday of Holy Week
March 30, 2010

Today's Readings:
Isaiah 49:1-6
Ps 71:1-6, 15, 17
John 13:21-33, 36-38
http://www.usccb.org/nab/033010.shtml
USCCB Podcast of the Readings:
http://ccc.usccb.org/cccradio/NABPodcasts/10_03_30.mp3

Betrayed by a friend – Part 1

In today's Gospel reading, when Jesus announced that one of his closest disciples would betray him, Peter and the others looked at each other, bewildered and alarmed. Did anyone feel guilty? Did they quickly examine their consciences and remember the times when they had disagreed with Jesus or had wished that he'd do things differently? Probably.

Peter, hoping he wasn't the betrayer, timidly asked John to ask Jesus, "Who is it?"

He did not want to be the betrayer. He really believed, "I will lay down my life for you!" Yet he did betray Jesus, despite all of his good intentions. We are like Peter whenever we back down from sharing our faith because we fear rejection or when we make unethical compromises to avoid conflicts. We love Jesus yet we betray him. And like Peter, we feel horrified about our sin and we gratefully receive his forgiveness.

Judas was different. In yesterday's Gospel reading, we saw Judas react to Mary's loving gift of costly perfume. Was he jealous? The powerful love between Jesus and Mary was obvious. He could have learned from the love they shared, but instead he verbally attacked them.

Apparently, Judas did not believe that Jesus loved him just as much as he loved Mary. With his perception clouded by his neediness, he judged the intimacy between Mary and Jesus as inappropriate. It’s a common psychological bandage for low self-esteem: He tried to shame them into feeling guilty as an attempt to feel better about himself.

People who are starving for love often put others down in order to get what they want. No wonder Judas turned Jesus in when he failed to cooperate with his expectations. He could not understand the unconditional, sacrificial love of Christ. In modern psychological terms, we might say that Judas was "codependent". His needy, hurting heart failed to recognize the healthy, true love that Jesus tried to give him. No wonder he chose suicide to cure his pain instead of turning to Jesus for forgiveness.

Think of the people in your life who are needy for love. We all have codependent friends who want us to be a god for them; they insist that we give them everything they think they need. Instead of developing a more intimate, healing relationship with Jesus, they become demanding of us, angry and manipulative.

And then, when we turn to Jesus for the fullness of the unconditional love that they cannot give to us, they become jealous. And like Judas, they betray us.

Some betrayals are easy to forgive, because we know the betrayer really does care about us. But when the betrayal comes from an unrelenting Judas, we can still love them, even if only from afar. Jesus never stopped loving anyone.

© 2010 by Terry A. Modica
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